It is the first of the year and what better time to put things into perspective than today. I didn’t spend a lot of time partying, those days are long gone, and I have no intention to start them up any time soon. While I wasn’t the biggest party girl, I did spend plenty of nights just tagging along. It was an attempt to fit in during college and then it was to tend to friendships that ultimately drifted apart.
During those days we weren’t obsessed with elegance. And today while they tend to throw the word around like cheap confetti I am not sure they know what it means. Let’s look at that before we go on. This is the part of me that, while was present at the “party” was never quite a home their. This is the analytical Judith. And this is where I am really at home.
el·e·gance(ĕl′ĭ-gəns)n.1.a. Refinement, grace, and beauty in movement, appearance, or manners.b. Tasteful opulence in form, decoration, or presentation.2.a. Restraint and grace of style.b. Scientific exactness and precision.3. Something elegant.
My Perspective On Baby Showers
My husband and I are a little less than ten years apart, he being the older of this. He was the youngest of three children. My sister-in-law’s daughter is going to have her second child in a couple of months while our children haven’t even come to the idea of dating yet. This is an interesting perspective for me because as much as I hate to say it, my niece has become what some would label a bit of a momzilla, to put it lightly, though I am not even sure that is a real phrase.
While I do understand that a pregnancy is a “big thing” and that “everything needs to be perfect,” you can however take it too far. My niece’s catchphrase is elegance. Everything needs to be elegant. There was a small and quirky first baby shower that cost more than our wedding. And there will be an exquisite birth announcement in a week to make everything official.
The baby shower, while a little over a month away is something that, as Aunt Judith I cannot avoid. It is not only something that feels over done, you guessed it, it will be this elegant baby shower, one like the world has never seen.
If you have had the opportunity to be involved with a glamor crazed mommy you will understand that most of them think that they invented the pregnancy, or at the very least have made it their life’s work. Though when I was growing up there was only one baby shower and it wasn’t directed by the pregnant mother.
I have heard from her mother that the baby shower will be held in an upscale restaurant downtown, and while I am all for a nice meal at a nice restaurant this seems like a venue better suited for something besides a baby shower.
And here is why.
Usually when you invite people to a baby shower, or invite them out at all, the cost of the food, drinks, and other entertainment falls on your shoulders. This isn’t just a matter of good manners, it is a question of common sense, and this seems to have been lost on my niece. When I got the very elegant yet puzzling invitation to the gender reveal which stated that the cost of food and the drinks would be covered by the guest. That is when you get your over prices plate you will be expected to pay. This just seems a tad bit outlandish.
First, this isn’t the first baby shower. Second it isn’t really a baby shower. And third if you expect people to pay for a gift – and don’t get me started with the gift registry – then the cost of the food is yours to bare.
My husband thinks I should just call and turn down the invitation. But I am a little bit on the fence.
We shall see what my next move is, I would rather give her something practical, skip the baby shower all together, and spend the money that I would pay on my family.
If you look back to the definition of elegance, which goes beyond how things look, you will agree that there is much to learn about how she handles things. Maybe it is just the hormones from being pregnant?